The Panic Years

I recently listened to a girl describe her twenties as the "panic years," and I couldn't agree more—it's exactly how I’m feeling in my own twenties.

The panic years.

Your brain and personality change more during this decade than any other point in life. It’s a time full of pivotal decisions— where to live, which career to pursue, whether and when to start a family, and who to share your life with. It’s simply one of the most uncertain stages you’ll ever face. As Meg Jay writes in The Defining Decade, “knowing you want to do something isn’t the same as knowing how to do it.” Your twenties remain the most unpredictable years you will ever experience. Your twenties matter.

As humans, we crave certainty. We seek solutions, concrete answers, and clear direction. So when life doesn’t provide them, we can feel lost, overwhelmed, and really unsure of our next move.

“There is this enormous twentysoemthing pressure to get ahead, get married, pick a city, make money, buy a house, enjoy life, go to graduate school, start a business, get a promotion, save for college and retirement, and have two or three children in a much shorter period of time.”

Even the smallest shift in these years can radically shape where we end up in our thirties an beyond.

One of the hardest lessons to accept in our twenties is that there’s no rulebook. You are your own person. You get to make your own choices, think your own thoughts, make mistakes, and correct them. It’s not about instant gratification, though we often feel like we need everything right now. I feel it too—this rush to make everything happen at once.

But the craziest part is that in not knowing, I’ve learned more than I ever expected. Navigating uncertainty has shaped me in ways I never could have imagined.

Who we are, affects what we do, and what we do, affects who we are, over and over again. (The Defining Decade).

Welcome to the panic years.